Change of plans

Ok, so I was planning on writing about serial killers, their history, evolution, cultural impact, etc… But I got distracted and wound up watching “Run Bitch, Run!” and “Dear God, NO!” Both films are were made in the last few years, but try very hard to look much older. They are part of a new wave of exploitation films that have been produced in the wake of the Tarantino/Rodriguez Double-bill Grindhouse feature. These films are really hit and miss. The best of them are delightfully rotten and sleazy, exactly as an exploitation movie is supposed to be. The worst are the ones that try too hard to cram in too many exploitation cliches with poor execution. The best part is that the good and the bad are equally watchable and if nothing else are well worth a laugh. Often its hard to tell if these films are closer to Horror, or comedy, or soft-core porn…but I think it’s safe to say that Horror fans have adopted them as their own nonetheless. We love that Bad Taste kinda shit!

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Run Bitch, Run! keeps it simple and sleazy, right from the get-go! A Trio of of degenerates beats, rapes, and kills two catholic school girls who knock on the wrooooong fucking door trying to sell bibles. Only they make one mistake…they didn’t make sure both were dead. The surviving girl comes back in a methodical quest to exact bloody revenge on the scum who robbed her of her innocence. It’s not pretty, it’s not complicated, and it’s fucking raunchy as hell! Not only did I laugh my ass off, but i also felt dirty for finding humor in the filth I was viewing. Thats the way it’s supposed to be. It takes itself just seriously enough to not be blatantly tongue in cheek, it establishes the villains as entertaining enough for us to watch their exploits for 90 minutes, yet despicable enough that we root for them to get their eventual comeuppance, The heroine has a classic 70’s look to her face, and the violence is rampant and brutal. About as brutal as the sex. Oh my lord the SEX! Sample dialogue from the trailer: “We’ve got White Bitches, Black Bitches, Asian Bitches, Holy Bitches, Nasty Bitches…We’ve even got Bitches on Bitches!”, all spoken in random 70’s soul-brother voice. Fuck yes! How can It get any better? I’ll tell you. The top billed actor is Daeg Faerch, who is promoted as playing young Michael Myers in Rob Zombies Halloween…and he has all of 3 minutes of screen time!  (Trailer can be seen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezYgTfRBWyA )

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Anytime a film opens with a Biker gang(The Impalers) waking up from a night of Nun raping and slaughter amidst the freshly defiled corpses of said Nuns, you know that NOBODY is fucking around! Again, if I didn’t know better, I would swear this film was made in the late 70s. The production values and gore FX simply scream authentic 70s sleaze! The corpses look silly, and the blood is just a little too red and syrupy…we get an early example of this when one of the bikers wakes up, and immediatly walks over to the corpse of the nearest Nun, then proceeds to brutally kick her genitals bloody. Why? I dunno, I guess when you spent all night raping and killing nuns, its only natural to kick their crotch into oblivion the next morning. The more you know… After the Impalers lay waste to a rival gang called Satans Own, they are witnessed by a pregnant couple who are on their way to visit their strange scientist friend who lives in a cabin in the woods. Dr. Marco intends to share the results of his bizarre experiments with the couple, but this is interrupted by the Impalers tracking the couple to the cabin, and committing all sorts of unspeakable acts of nastiness on the couple, the Doctor and his daughter. But wait, oh no, its not as simple as all that…it turns out the Doctor is in fact a mad Nazi scientist who has his wife locked in the basement after his experiments turned her into a mutated nymphomanic that wont stop laughing…and Oh yeah…He made a Bigfoot. Yup. A BIGFOOT! Doc messed around with local wildlife, and made a Bigfoot. This is like an exploitation greatest hits! We’ve got Bikersploitation, Nazisploitation, Nunsploitation and Psychedelic all rolled into one fucked up package!

“It’s almost dark, I’m FUCKIN SOBER, and I ain’t gotten to kill ANYONE today!” You tell em, you hairy degenerate Biker, you! 

(Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHcAunRydZ0 )

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