Oct 13th: C.H.U.D.(1984): http://youtu.be/WqDToaLuJ7I
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the sewers…wait…it’s never been safe down there! There’s sketchy homeless people, alligators…and SHIT! On top of all that, there are Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. I bet they even ate the Ninja Turtles! These things are bad news! Our story concerns a Photographer who is doing a project on the Homeless in NYC, and through his contacts within the community, finds himself involved with a group of Homeless who live underground, and a Police officer who is investigating a rash of disappearances(most of which are homeless) in his precinct. Through his investigating he meets Reverend Sheppard who runs a local mission. Sheppard is convinced the disappearances have something to do with a Massive Government cover-up, and has evidence to prove it. Eventually it comes out that rather than transport dangerous Radioactive Waste through New York City, the Government thought they would be sneaky and just hide it in the tunnels below Manhattan. Great plan, right? It was…until the radiation mutated the homeless who lived in the tunnels, turning them into the C.H.U.D., which feasted on other homeless until they were forced to rise up from the bowels of the city to find more flesh to devour!
As silly a concept it is, C.H.U.D. is a classic that has become somewhat iconic, being referenced in both Clerks II and the Simpsons. The Creature effects are a little silly, but they work, and the acting is solid. Having said that, it’s not like anybody is working with a genius script either. A fun side note, is John Heard, and Daniel Stern are both in this film, then went on to appear in Home Alone years later. This viewing was part of a Horror-thon with my friends Tom and Jennifer Pavlovic, two of the coolest people who’ve ever walked the earth. Most of the viewing was spent cracking jokes and laughing at the film, and cheering for the C.H.U.D., and that is how this film should be viewed! With you friends, and laughing out loud.
*note: we watched Friday the 13th part VII as well, but i am saving that for after #31DaysOfHalloween, when i will review the full Friday Franchise*
Oct 14th: Cheerleader Camp(1988): http://youtu.be/xeBIthSV-6o
More thanks go out to Tom P for hooking me up with this DVD. I’ll summarise the plot really quickly, Cheerleaders show up at a camp from near and far, and begin practicing for a big competition. When the girls in her group start dying, Alison, who suffers from terrible nightmares, begins to think she might be responsible. Other than that, the whole movie is an excuse for Eye-candy to prance around the screen in cheerleader outfits
This plays more like an 80’s comedy than a slasher film, complete with random hi jinx, prat-falls, bad white-guy rapping, and rampant sex. And of course, there is the Big-Fat-Party-Guy. The BFPG is a staple in many 80’s comedies, he has a mighty capacity for drink, is always on the lookout for ladies, and usually has a habit of deviant behavior, such as cross dressing, voyerism…or exhibitionism
The first death is when one girl is found dead in her bunk, with her wrists slit. It is assumed to be a suicide, but rather than call to police or an ambulance or anything…the camp organizers stick the body in a freezer and plan on waiting out the weekend. When the body if found by Allison, she calls the local Smokey. It looks like the Camp Director is going to be in hot water…but she smooths it all over by fucking the Sheriff…the act is of course, video-taped by Big Fat Party Guy. Utterly Daffy shit. But entertaining as all hell!
Oct 15: Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf(1985): http://youtu.be/T1HtcpWGf9M
I attended this screening at the Rio Theater, at an event called “The Gentlemen Hecklers”. The idea is that they screen shitty films, and the 3 Hecklers will sit in the front row with live microphones and provide live commentary by talking shit on the film the whole way through. Truly a priceless experience, and i recommend anyone check out their screenings, even if it isn’t a Horror film. Search “The Gentlemen Hecklers” on Facebook.
So, The Howling is a classic example of special FX and Werewolf cinema…Howling II (dropping “The” from the title…likely because they knew this film was a piece of shit the deserved to be distanced from the Joe Dante original) is something else entirely. The story picks up in the aftermath of the death of Karen White from the first film. Christopher Lee plays Stephan Crosscoe, who informs Karen’s brother Ben and her colleague Annie, that Karen is a werewolf and will rise from her tomb. Crosscoe intends to free Karen of her curse by stabbing her in the heart with what looks like a silver knitting needle, but when his efforts are interrupted by other werewolves, he seems to decide that simply shutting her up in her windowed casket will be good enough. After the 3 heroes regroup, Crosscoe reveals that some werewolves are so powerful they can only be killed by Titanium, and that they must now travel to Transylvania to stop the centuries old Werewolf Queen, Stirba. Not making any of this up, folks…
New Wave Christopher Lee means business!
The editing is completly spastic, the story is disjointed and random, and often the plot feels like the story was intended to be about Vampires, but they switched it last minute and made it about Werewolves so they could cash in on a Howling sequel. The biggest shock of all was the surprise appearance of Lady Gaga…er…wait, that’s just Cybil Danning playing Stirba the Werewolf Bitch!
The film just gets more and more fucked up as it goes. I wish i could describe everything, but you really must watch it for yourself. Not only will you be rewarded by the film making you dizzy with the inexplicable editing, but you will see a decent amount of nudity and werewolf group sex. rumors abound that between takes, Christopher Lee would act in a manner as if “wishing-himself-away”. Years later, when Lee was working with Joe Dante on Gremlins II, he approached Dante and apologized for being in this film. Now that is a classy gent! How do i sum up this film? Hmmm. Clusterfuck. A Big, Hairy Clusterfuck…like this!