Oct 20th: Ghoulies(1985): http://youtu.be/gTZPOh21q2Q
The poster implies that the titular Ghoulies swim up from the toilet and bite you on the bottom. When in actuality, it’s the film itself that eats ass. Another false assumption is that the Ghoulies would be the main driving force of the story or the main antagonists…something to that effect…NOPE! They amount to little more than set-dressing. Somehow the film still manages to be pretty fun. The story follows Jonathan Graves, an orphan who finds out that he has inherited a run down, but beautiful mansion. As he and his pretty ginger girlfriend explore the old house, they notice of foreboding grave on the property, as well as clear evidence of occult activity such as pentacles and summoning circles painted on the floor, as well as ceremonial robes and grimoires. Now, I’m willing to accept that note EVERYONE would see these things and immediatly identify what they are, but the level of ineptitude shown by Jonathan is hilarious as he dives head first into the occult, rationalizing it as him trying to learn more about his family. It is not long before Jonathan is corrupted by his new found power, begins summoning minions (the Ghoulies), and two magical midgets with metal hats. When his girlfriend puts her foot down and tells him no more magic in the house, he agrees, but tries to pull a fast one by marking the floor under their bed and trying to complete a ritual while making sex with her…sneaky lil devil! It’s not much longer before Jonathan has glowing green eyes, supposedly a sign of power, but it kinda loses its effect when the contact the actor wears to achieve this look don’t stay in place, and Jonathan looks cock-eyed. Ultimately Jonathan is betrayed by his minions who still serve their true master, Jonathan’s father Malcolm Graves(remember the foreboding grave from earlier? Yup, his decaying corpse rises from it). The prologue shows us Malcolm in life, preparing to sacrifice lil baby johnny, but his Mother saves the baby at the last minute by putting a medallion around his neck which prevents him from being harmed. I can’t help but wonder why Malcolm didn’t just slip the medallion off, and then get on with the sacrifice…but oh well. At the very least, Malcolm was very fashion forward. The opening scene depicts him with perfectly feathered and highlighted hair, then, we fast forward roughly 20 to 25 years to 1985 when he is resurrected with the same hair-do. The man was ahead of his time!
As awkward as this film is, and as much as it really is a huge pile of shit, it still has it’s charm. Charm enough to warrant 3 equally ricockulous sequels. Going back to the whole Ghoulie in the Toilet gag…there is a story. As Director Charles Band tells on his Full Moon Horror Road Show, he was tasked to come up with a great campaign to promote the film. During a brainstorming session he came up with the idea to have the Ghoulie popping up from the toilet. The idea was a huge success and the scene was then shot for the film after the fact. And most of the sequels followed the same lead and had toilet shots in the promos. Go figure. This is another film that really only hass value when watching with a group of friends and more than a few drinks. when taken on it’s own merrits, it’s pretty much the shits.