Right…so…I’m not really much of a Christmas kinda guy. I didn’t have any bad Christmas experiences as a kid, in fact despite our meager means, my family always managed to go above and beyond to make Christmas special for me. As I got older, I noticed I was losing my ability to stomach the Holiday season. I don’t know if it was disgust with the over commercialization, or the way people seem to lose their fucking minds during the season, or maybe it was because everyone and everything is just so fucking cheery that I can’t stand it!!!
Thankfully, alcohol is natures perfect coping mechanism. So with a mug full of Boozy ‘Nog, and a twisted grim on my face, I’m diving headfirst into a batch of Christmas themed Horror flics! Since the holidays will see me back in Alberta with my family, I’m referring to the ordeal as my Sleigh Ride To Hell. Not that I don’t love my family, far from it…but all that Holiday cheer under one roof…i’ll need more than Boozey ‘Nog to get through it…I’ll need Holiday Horror films, preferably the kind that traumatize children.
First up: Santa’s Slay
Wait, really? Aw fuck me! This isn’t going to traumatize anyone! The only reason to sit through this pile of shit is if you are a fan of pro wrestling, and you want to see Bill Goldberg dress as a jacked up Santa and kill people with wrestling moves… which sounds pretty sweet now that I think of it.
The premise is that Santa is actually a demon, who after losing a bet with an angel, was forced to spread Holiday Cheer for a thousand years. But now, the thousand years are up…Santa’s on the loose…and he’s PISSED!!! The whole film is trite and trys to squeeze in as many Christmas gags as possible. How many does it squeeze in? All of them. This film plays more like a screwball comedy than it does a horror. The only real redeeming quality, is Fran Drescher gets set on fire in the opening minutes
For those of you feeling drunk enough, find a link to the full film below.
Full Film: http://youtu.be/VL46fAxWztA