We’ve got Cabin Fever

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Did you see the first two? Great, forget all that shit because none of it was important.  The first two installments of the Cabin Fever franchise establish the tone of our films as fun, which quickly spirals into hysterics, paranoia, and flesh melting. We are introduced to recurring shithead supporting character Deputy Winston, and watch a deadly, fast action g flesh eating virus lay waste to the cast of both films. When I heard a prequel was announced, I had assumed we would see the origins of the disease, and how it was introduced to the woods in the first film where it infected the Hermit’s dog. I was mostly half right …Mostly.

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Meet Patient Zero. Yup…the fat Hobbitt. The film opens with the virus already spreading, yet he seems to be immune. A carrier. He is taken to an isolated research bunker on a deserted island somewhere in Latin America where scientists attempt to study him and develop a cure for the virus. In one of these scientists, we meet one of the biggest teases of the film.

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She walks around the she time with her cleavage out and we NEVER actually see her tits. Its a real shame. We do however get to see an infected subject projectile vomit blood all over her, and she takes part in the coolest catfight I’ve ever seen. It’s fiesty bitches LITERALLY tearing each others skin off!

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There is also a group of childhood friends who have taken a boat to the island for a bachelore party, so here we have our comic relief as well as some fun twenty some things to identify with…but there is a problem. Anyone who has seen the first two films knows full well that these kids are doomed. I found it hard to get invested with them when I know they are just going to melt.

I had a bit of a problem with the plot as well. The film doesn’t explain how the Virus came to be and infected the first victims, neither does the climax of the film sync up with the events of the first film, so we could potentially see more prequels. I did very much enjoy the gore effects, and despite the flaws I mentioned, I think this was a decent film. It gives us exactly what we’ve come to expect from the Cabin Fever franchise, and sheds some light on the back story. Time will tell if more prequels are on the way. As scary as the idea of a fast spreading deadly pandemic is to me, I admit that I’m much more afraid of having my skull caved in by a massive black dildo. (Watch the film, you’ll see.)

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