#31DaysOfHorror: Oct 3

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Occasionally you come across a movie that is so bad, you are almost glad you watched it. As if sitting through such terrible dreck would remind you that no matter how bad a movie is, it could always be worse. Fortunately for you, my Creeps, good ol’ Doctor Havok has a bunch of films like that! So let’s dive right in to Memorial Valley Massacre.

This tame, forgettable slasher stands out for having not one, not two, but THREE black characters! With speaking parts! And names! Truly rare for the times. The roles are generic horror movie shells: a biker dude named…Morie?, his biker chick named…Sara?, and an old groundskeeper named Deke who has that typical, dismissible old-timer suspicion that somethin just ain’t right. Unfortunately for everyone involved, nobody listens to an old fool, so they’re all caught unawares when the killing starts.

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Yup…Gaze upon the image of Terror!

The story is simple, but could maybe have been more effective with a higher budget…And more talent behind and in front of the camera. Even as far as cheesy 80s flicks go, it’s pretty rough. It might be easier to get into if the killer didn’t look so much like Cha-Ka from Land of the Lost. He could probably be dispatched with a shiny bauble and a kick to his malleable cranium, but somehow he manages to do away with nearly a dozen campers. Just goes to prove what I’ve long held to be true: people in the ’80s were stupid.

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This sad excuse for a Biker Gang is the perfect analogy for what is wrong with the film. What WE think something looks like and what the Director thinks something looks like are rarely the same thing. If you close your eyes and think about a Biker Gang, a Wild Hermit, or for that matter, a credible film…Well, I bet what comes to mind for you is NOT what you’ll see here. Despite all the bullshit, the film still retains its watchability thanks to it’s “So-Bad-Its-Good” charm. Rights to the film are in the public domain, so check out the full film below.

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