Since I left everyone holding their breath…

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I may as well reward those who have been waiting for this Sinful Tongued Devil to return. 

Detroit fucking sucks. There, I said it. It has sucked for a long time, and now that the city is practically dead, Horror filmakers have been handed a gold mine for location shooting. Curiously, very few have taken advantage, but Fede Alvarez would not be one to miss out on the chance to turn an already bad situation into something twisted and dark.

Our story concerns 3 Go-Nowhere-White-Trash youths who have taken to robbing people’s houses for a living. Presumably the Drug Dealing bubble burst, and none of them can carry a rhyme, so B&Es are pretty much their only option. After just enough background on the kids is shown to solidify me not giving the top layer of skin on my ballsack about them, they get wind of a job too simple and lucrative to pass up. An old man, living alone in a deserted neighborhood, with a huge amount of cash stashed in his home. To make the deal even sweeter…he is BLIND! Easy money, right? Weeeeellll….

Dude happens to be a Deranged Army Vet with a traggic past and a very twisted secret that ensures he will stop at nothing to protect what he feels belongs to him. No spoilers, but do yourself a favor and check this out as soon as possible. The Atmosphere conveys the tension of the scene extremly well, and the violence is brutally realistic. The Kids must keep quiet to avoid detection, so naturally nobody can keep quiet. Every sound is potentially fatal, and the Silence is made all the more ominous because of it. Stephen Lang brought his badass boots to set for this one! He manages to pull off a tough role in that be plays someone who has a major physical handicap, and a sad story in his past, which you would think should make him pretty sympathetic. But Lang knows that there is a very dark secret the old man is hiding in that house, and his body language reflects it. Even when we first see him on screen, something seems off about him…almost like he makes my Spider-sense tingle.

The only flaw I can find is that I didn’t care about the kids, and I didn’t care about the old man. They all deserved very bad things to happen to them, so watching these bad things unfold didn’t do anything for me except make me giggle a lot. But the Turkey Baster spot… Holy fucking FUCK that Turkey Baster spot!!!! I know to bring it up is kind of a spoiler, but go fuck yourself, it’s been out long enough and people have been mentioning the Turkey Baster all over social media. Goddamn, I was howling with laughter when that spot happened. Pure disgusting gold!